 |
Managing Stress - Stress Helps Us Convert Problems into Solutions
Stress Busting Strategies
Written
by Patsi Krakoff, Psy,D., Editor for Simmonds Publication and published in the
Emotional Wellness Matters newsletter. Reprinted with permission.
All
of us experience stress, to one degree or another, in our everyday lives. Stress
is the body’s reaction to an event that is experienced as disturbing or
threatening. Our primitive ancestors experienced stress when they had to fight
off wild animals and other threats.
In
the contemporary world we are more likely to experience stress when we face
overwhelming responsibilities at work or home, experience loneliness, or fear
losing things which are important to us, such as our jobs, or friends. When
we are exposed to such an event, we experience what has been called the "fight
or flight" response. To prepare for fighting or fleeing, the body increases
its heart rate and blood pressure. This sends more blood to our heart and muscles,
and our respiration rate increases. We become vigilant and tense. Our bodies
end up on full alert.
Stress
is adaptive when it prompts us to take action to solve a problem. We can use
our perceived stress as a clue, in fact, that there is a problem and that we
need to confront it. Public speakers, athletes and entertainers have long known
that stress can motivate them to perform much better. The real difficulty occurs
when we feel blocked. For various reasons, we may be unable to solve the problems–perhaps
because we don’t realize that there is a problem or we don’t have
the tools for solving it–and we continue to expose ourselves to the stress.
In such instances, stress becomes a negative experience.
Negative
stress is demanding on our bodies and our lives in general. When our bodies
are in a constant state of readiness for prolonged periods of time, we end up
with heart palpitations, increased blood pressure, sweating, high stomach acidity,
stomach spasms and muscle spasms. There is evidence that prolonged stress can
lead to heart disease and a compromised immune system. Stress can deplete our
energy and interfere with our concentration. It can lead us to become abrupt
with other people and to engage in emotional outbursts or even physical violence.
Our relationships and job security can be jeopardized. People who experience
unresolved stress are more prone to self-destructive behaviors such as drug
and alcohol abuse.
Those
who deal with stress in a positive way usually have:
- A sense of self-determination
- A
feeling of involvement in life’s experiences, and
- An
ability to change negatives into positives.
>Self-determination
refers to an ability to control or adapt to the events of everyday living. Rather
than seeing ourselves as helpless in trying to overcome obstacles, we can begin
to define ourselves as problem-solvers. We can remember times when we have been
successful in solving problems and then see ourselves in those terms. We can
learn to trust that we will have success in meeting life’s difficulties.
When we take this approach, we can begin to face problematic situations as a
challenge which, when resolved, can bring new and exciting opportunities into
our lives.
Involvement
means opening ourselves up to the world around us. It means letting friends
and family members into our personal lives and sharing our private experiences
with others when appropriate. Cultivating a social network serves us well when
we are dealing with stressful situations. Talking our way through a crisis in
the presence of a supportive listener, rather than holding it in alone, is one
of our best ways of gaining helpful feedback, putting this situation into perspective,
and sensing that we are not alone. When we lack involvement with others, we
often feel vulnerable and may question whether we have the resources to cope
with stressful experiences.
A
positive approach toward life is one of the main attributes of those
who deal well with stress. Rather than seeing life’s difficulties as situations
to complain about, the more adaptive person sees them as challenges which can
be met with success. Losses can be seen as opportunities for gain. The life
process is one of loss and gain–it’s as natural as night and day.
When we trust that our losses will give rise to new gains and life experiences,
the stress associated with loss need not be devastating. For example, the loss
of a job can open the door to more satisfying employment and the opportunity
for more fulfilling life experiences. The clue is to change our negative thoughts
about situations into more positive thoughts–and positive feelings
will usually follow a change in thinking. For example, if a close friend
moves away, rather than harboring negative thoughts about how lonely and devastated
you will feel, think about the good memories you will always have, how your
friendship will leave a positive legacy that will always touch your life, how
you can still keep in touch and visit, and how you can now spend your time in
new and positive pursuits. There really is no need for stress in this situation.
We can choose to move toward the open doors of life rather than futilely knocking
on closed doors.
THE
TOP LIFE STRESSORS
Researchers have identified a number of life stressors which are associated
with vulnerability to anxiety, accidents, and physical programs. Here are the
top fifteen on the list, along with a rating which indicates the severity of stress
associated with each of these life events. The higher the number, the more likely
a person will be prone to stress related problems. Even good events, like marriage,
can bring on stress.
- Death of a spouse 100
- Divorce 73
- Marital separation 65
- Detention in jail or other institution 63
- Death of a close family member 63
- Major personal injury or illness 53
- Marriage 50
- Being fired at work 47
- Marital reconciliation 45
- Retirement from work 45
- Change in health of a family member 44
- Pregnancy 40
- Pregnancy 40
- Sexual difficulties 39
- Gaining a new family member 39
- Major business readjustment 39
Some proven ways to cope with stress
The first step in learning how to manage your stress is to increase your
level of awareness in two areas–first, your level of experienced stress
in your body, and second, the nature of the events which bring on your stress.
You need to do the first one before you can effectively do the second. In order
to increase your level of awareness in your body, check your stress levels throughout
the day and rate yourself, perhaps on a ten-point scale, on the degree of stress
you are experiencing at that time. To do this, check out your body. Are your
muscles tense? Is your heart pounding? Are your hands cold and clammy? Are you
able to concentrate normally? When you become adept at recognizing the degree
of stress you are currently experiencing, work on increasing your awareness
of the people, things and events that are triggering your stress. These can
also be rated on a ten-point scale. This exercise can yield a lot of surprises.
For example, you might find that a close friend, a family member or your job
may increase your stress levels dramatically. You may learn to avoid the stressors
or else to deal with them more realistically. Doing this exercise within the
context of therapy may lead you to explore life issues which can finally be
resolved.
The
second step in learning to deal with stress is to take positive action to reduce
your tension. Learning any of the following techniques can serve as an effective
tool for combating unnecessary stress, and they may even change how you live
your daily life.
Relaxation
There is a wide range of relaxation techniques available for coping with
stress. Most of these methods can be learned in therapy, but the most important
point to keep in mind is that you should find a technique that works for you.
The list of choices includes breathing exercises, yoga, stretching exercises,
biofeedback, meditation, massage, visual imagery, and progressive muscle relaxation
(which is an especially effective tool).
Exercise
Regular physical exercise helps reduce stress, and it also raises self-esteem.
It primes your immune system and plays a crucial role in preventing disease.
Physical exercise need not be strenuous. Walking at a brisk pace for 20 or 30
minutes daily decreases stress just as effectively as vigorous jogging.
Self-Rejuvenation
Find things you enjoy that make your spirit soar. This could include listening
to music, meditation, prayer, sports, dance, painting, visiting nature, hiking,
or writing. Take time for recreational and spiritual pursuits on a regular basis.
This will help you to maintain balance and perspective in your life–and
it gives you better control over being stressed out.
Setting
Limits
Much stress, especially these days, comes from biting off more than we can
chew. We often embrace faulty expectations about how much we should accomplish
in life. Unfortunately, this is a prime culprit in increasing our stress levels.
It may help to examine what is really important in our lives, scale back, think
smaller, and give our time more completely to the things that matter the most.
Bringing expectations into line with reality and learning to say no when we
choose to offer immediate relief.
Effective
Communication
If you are too passive with others, you may come to feel that everyone is
taking advantage of you or controlling you. On the other hand, if you are too
aggressive in your dealings with other people, you may antagonize them and create
more stress for yourself. Assertiveness training is one way of expressing your
needs without feeling ignored or offending others. A number of effective communication
techniques can be explored in therapy.
Social
Support
Find people who can nurture and support you, and learn to trust appropriately
in them. Our stress levels increase when we try to deal with life’s difficulties
alone. Talking things through with a good listener can help us to put things
into a more realistic perspective–and the mere act of talking about issues
that we usually hold inside serves to reduce our stress levels. When stress
decreases the quality of life, remember that professional help is available.
Therapy can help us to take charge of our lives in an effective way–and
this is a much better alternative than living under the control of stress.
The
clue to handling stress adaptively is to acquire the skills we need to feel
empowered. This requires a good, honest exploration into our lives. We need
to explore the strengths that we already have for coping with stress, as well
as to learn new skills. We need to be able both to comfort ourselves and to
let others nurture us as well. All of us can learn, with some healthy exploration,
to manage stress successfully.
The
Many Faces of Stress
Stress
comes in many forms. Generalized anxiety disorder occurs when
a person has endured for at least six months a state of being excessively worried,
being on edge continually, having sleep difficulty, and finding it hard to experience
pleasure and relaxation. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder happens
if a person has been through a serious, life-threatening event, and may for
months or years afterward experience severe stress, nightmares, hypervigilance,
avoiding similar situations, and angry outbursts. Phobias are
intense fears that occur when a person is exposed to a certain type of situation,
like the dark, or heights, or snakes, or the sight of blood, or certain social
situations like public speaking. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
happens when stress or chaos in one’s world causes a person to think and
worry repetitively about something(these are called obsessions) or else to engage
in repetitive behaviors, like hand-washing or checking on things excessively
(these are called compulsions).
One
of the most debilitating manifestations of stress is the panic attack.
These dramatic episodes of stress seem to come out of the blue and happen
even when there is no real danger. They are usually intense for a few minutes
and then they subside. The sufferer may experience chest pains, the feeling
of smothering, dizziness, heart pounding, sweating, numbness, or nausea. These
symptoms may be accompanied by fears of dying, going crazy and losing control.
Those who experience panic attacks often live in fear of their next attack,
and this may prevent them from leaving the house, being alone or driving.
If
you feel a panic attack coming on, it is helpful to just let it happen, as uncomfortable
as this may seem. If you don’t tense up, the symptoms will generally subside
within a few minutes. Tensing up will perpetuate the episode. You may feel faint,
but you won’t really faint (blood is going to your muscles as you tense
up and not to your brain, and this may bring on the sensation of fainting–but
your blood pressure and heart rate have increased, so you’re actually less
likely to faint). During a panic attack, try to contain your thoughts. Challenge
your negative thinking (you are not having a heart attack; you will not suffocate;
you are not going crazy). Trust that this will end soon. Tell yourself the following:
"Well,
here it is again. Let me watch my body respond to this, just like I’ve
done before. I will survive this and I can handle it. This may be unpleasant,
but it’s only anxiety and it will pass. Let me flow through this."
Want to read more
about managing your stress? Or would you rather review one of the other
packets offered at convention?
Also remember that Working
Solutions has a virtual library full of information on these and other topics...go
to their site, and look at Today's Library™ for the topics that best
suit your situation.
Working
Solutions Service is available to you through the Union-led
Benefits Trust.
|
